Early to Rise

Family Walk

2012-02-12T13:40:00.000-05:00

This past week was a tease of spring-like weather. We spent several afternoons doing something we have come to refer to as "family walk." (Pretty much, we walk the dogs as a family) This morning, the winter chill was back and Jason ventured out to walk the pups on his own- too cold out for little miss and her sweet, kissable cheeks to be exposed to the weather.

The warmer temperatures in the last week and now the typical February chill today have helped me to realize how much I love "family walk." The best walks are on the train tracks near our house, or maybe even on the bike path. The less traffic and noise, the better. Marley and Phoebe run, sniff, do their "numbers." Sometimes Violet will spend the whole walk yelling to the dogs--"Dog! Dog! Dadadada!" Other times she might fall asleep in the backpack or the stroller. Jason and I walk, but most importantly we reconnect. Our most productive, honest conversations happen during family walk. We might talk about school, family, or plans for the upcoming vacation week. Even conversations about finances are surprisingly relaxing when we are on family walk.

As time goes on and Violet grows older I am certain that family walk will grow and change too. A favorite game is to guess what kinds of questions Violet will ask us on walks when she is 3, 4, 5....

"Why does the ice freeze like that?"

"What kind of bird is making that noise?"

"Why can't I go in the pools of water with Marley?"

"How does Phoebe jump so far?"

Valentine's Day is approaching. Jason knows not to buy me flowers; I think they are a waste of our money because they only die in a few days. (I know, I'm not such a romantic in that way) What would I like for Valentine's Day? I would like spring-like weather to return so we can have more family walks. I want long walks with my two favorite people and my two favorite dogs- no distractions, fresh air, wonderful conversation. I can think of nothing I love more than uninterrupted time with my sweet little family. To me, there is nothing more romantic than walking hand-in-hand with Jason, talking out our troubles and laughing about life. (Yes, Jason, we can go to Frosty's for a doughnut after the walk)

Other news related to walking...

I bought a Beco baby carrier. Violet has long out grown the Baby Bjorn and I wanted something smaller than our Kelty back pack for shopping and chores around the house. So far, Violet and Mommy BOTH approve!

Goodbye Weekend!

2012-02-05T18:56:00.000-05:00

Friday afternoon arrived and we loaded up the car for a birthday week trip to my parent's home. As we pulled out of the driveway Jason looked at me and said, "I know it is only 2 days, but I feel like we're going on vacation!" It had been a busy week- meetings, early mornings, a bomb threat at Jason's school (which freaked me out more than it ever did before I was a parent)- a couple of days away was going to be wonderful!

Friday night was an excellent birthday night for my mom-- she had all of her "kids" around her, burgers on the grill, and coffee heath bar ice cream cake. My brother was home from his work in the mountains, the dogs were wrestling, and Violet was showing off her new "tricks" since we were all together last at Christmas. It was a wonderful night.

Saturday morning was pretty great too. Violet didn't want to eat or nurse as much as usual, but the house was busy and there was playing to do. The morning was spent practicing crawling on hands and knees, using Uncle Zack as a jungle gym, and doing "gymnastics" on the floor with Grampie. No morning nap, but that seems to be pretty standard nowadays for Miss Violet.

It was wonderful to be home and wonderful to be with family.

As we said goodbye to Uncle Zack and sat down for lunch Violet became sick- just a bit, and she had been coughing. My mom agreed that she probably coughed too hard after watching Violet proceed to eat all of the chicken finger and green beans in front of her. I nursed Violet and put her down for a nap.

Thirty minutes later I could hear the little lady fussing in her crib. "She'll go back to sleep," I said to my mom. But time passed and Violet was not going back to sleep. I came into the bedroom where we was sleeping and found that she had gotten sick again, all over the bed. I will spare you details, because I'm sure you can imagine them for yourself, but the rest of the day was spent with a sick baby in my arms and no fewer than 5 clothing changes for both of us. Sometime around 3pm Violet snuggled in and finally went to sleep for a couple of hours. As I watched her sleep in my arms all I could think was that I wanted to take away her hurting.

Saturday was one of the most challenging parenting days I have had yet. Violet looked at me and cried, as if she was saying, "Make me feel better, Mommy." My heart broke for her, but at the same time I felt fortunate that this stomach bug was our greatest issue. We have been blessed with an extraordinarily healthy baby.

In the middle of the night Violet woke up, wanting to nurse. This was wonderful for two reasons- 1) It meant she was feeling better; she had not wanted to nurse all afternoon. 2) She had not wanted to nurse all afternoon and that was not a good situation for me. Violet and I spent the rest of the night snuggled in bed together. Did I sleep well with a baby on my arm and her feet in mt side? No, but my baby was feeling better and sleeping soundly and my own sleep was not a priority.

This morning gave us a baby who was eating, nursing, and happy. As I snuggled Violet on the couch this morning I kissed her head and said, "Welcome back, my funny bunny!"

She has discovered the play house at Grammie and Grampie's:

Sunday afternoon found us with no heat at home (due to a mix-up with our automatic propane delivery, which I will be calling to settle tomorrow!) We now have heat, hot water, fuel for the stove. After Saturday, the heat issue really didn't phase me. My baby is healthy and sleeping peacefully now. I'm off to watch Super Bowl commercials and relax with my patient, supportive husband. All is well.

Goodbye, weekend. Hello, new week.

A Birthday Week

2012-02-02T20:08:00.000-05:00

This is a birthday week in our family! A very special birthday week, at that!

This is the birthday week of my beautiful, talented mother.

At some point in my childhood my father started the tradition of "birthday weeks." A birthday week is 7 days of celebration around some one's birthday. (We like to joke that my father's birthday week is always the 7 days before and the 7 days after his birthday, but maybe we should allow him that since the week-long celebration was his creation?) A birthday week is an opportunity to do something special, no matter how big or small, for the birthday boy or girl. We celebrate birthday weeks with happy email messages, cards, maybe a special meal out. Now that I am married and have made my own home, birthday weeks are reminder for me to keep the birthday person in my thoughts.

Oh my, has my mother been in my thoughts this birthday week- her first as "Grammie"

There is much I could say about my mom but no words that seem to do her justice. I have come back to this post in its draft form several times this week, trying to find the perfect sequence or combination of words to describe my mom and wish her a happy birthday. Now, on the eve of her special day I am realizing that I just need to write from my heart- it may not be perfect, but if my mom has taught me anything it is that imperfection is the way to go!

My mom has taught me volumes in my 27 years.
She has taught me the importance of patience and choosing your words carefully.
She has taught me about loving people, especially in the moments when it its most difficult to love them.
She has taught me to cherish our family.
She taught me to be strong.
She taught me how to sew and to sing from my heart.
She taught me to have good girlfriends.
She taught me to marry the man who makes you laugh and puts family before everything else.
She taught me to take the high road- always.
She has taught me to "stick it out," even when I want to give up. I can remember sitting on the living room floor in middle school and hearing her say, "You don't have to do [insert some school commitment] again, but you need to finish it out this time around." I can't even begin to quantify how much this middle school conversation has influenced me.

At this point in my life, I believe the most valuable thing my mom has taught me is how to be a mother. In addition to my brother and me, my mom has played a nurturing role in the lives of dozen of children who have been fortunate enough to attend her day care. She is a mother type figure- the hugs, the unconditional love, the stories read before nap time- to many children.

When Jason and I learned our first baby would be a girl my heart overflowed with joy. Ultimately, a happy, healthy baby was all we ever hoped for, but through sharing a close bond with my own mother I couldn't help but hope that someday we would have a daughter too. I called my mom that day and said, "It's a girl! It's Violet!" and through her tears on the other end of phone I knew she was smiling. What I thought, but did not say was, "Please let my daughter be as close with me as I am with my mom. Please let me be the kind of mother that Violet admires as I do my mother." As I encounter each parenting challenge I keep my mom in mind and I strive to exercise her patience, consistency, and love.

When I was in college my mom sent me a card in the mail (she has also taught me how a note sent via snail mail can mean more than anything). I saved the card and I plan to put it in Violet's scrapbook. Tonight, as I was thinking about what to write in honor of my mother's birthday, I pulled out the card.

They say that the mother-daughter bond is the strongest kind...

one that can never truly be broken, no matter what.

I know I feel that way about us-

And that means it's okay to speak the truth,

and I'm glad we do.

It means it's okay if it takes a long time to undertsand each other on some things-

There are other deeper things that are understood without saying,

and those things are the most important.

It means some things don't have to be understood

or solves or perfect.

It means we just keep on loving each other through life,

through everything...

no matter what.

-Catherine Slater

Happy birthday week to my best friend, Mom.

Where do weekends go?

2012-01-31T20:07:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I look at our social calendar and think, "Wow, we're boring."

The highlight of our predictable Saturday morning might be a trip to the grocery store, or if we're feeling rich, a Target stop. I return to work on Monday morning with no stories to share about movies we saw, new restaurants, or exciting road trips. I return to work Monday morning refreshed and content with our weekend full of family time- walks with the dogs and snuggles on the couch.

I was recently trying to align schedules with a friend for a weekend coffee date. We emailed back and forth suggested dates, finally finding a weekend in March that might work. March?! This scheduling go-round got my attention for two reasons:
1) Violet will be one in March (yikes!)
2) I guess our "boring" weekends are pretty full

I decided to take this past weekend to look at how the Paquettes pass a Saturday and Sunday. What did I find?

Another snow day! Really more like a "slush day," but my first go-round with the snow blower. (and not a tremendously successful one at that)

A visit from Grammie and pizza at Flipside in Brunswick (Deliciously yummy local organic pizza!)

A day of work on Saturday for Mommy and Daddy :-( Violet certainly wins for the best Saturday in our house! She spent Saturday sleeping until 7am (seriously child, why do you not sleep this late when Mommy is home?) The remainder of her day was spent playing with Grammie and being spoiled with kisses. We finished the afternoon with a walk on the bike path. After saying "See you later!" to Grammie, Violet decided to play out a "tough love" relationship with her bear.

I love you, Bear! Let me read you a story...


...and give you kisses...


Out of the laundry basket, Bear!

Just kidding!

Poor Miss Bear had to endure this game for quite some time. Violet, thought it was hilarious!

Sunday morning brought the lazy day we had missed by working on Saturday. The sun was shining, but the temperature was not so warm. We spent the afternoon relaxing in the sun room on the new couch. Why did it take us so long to get comfortable furniture for the sun room?! I am not pleased to know that I have missed two winters of sunny days curled up with a book in this room of windows. The sun room is our new favorite place!


Violet did some more reading

We sat in the sun room for almost an hour- me with my new book, Violet with a stack of hers. It was so peaceful to sit together and read. Once all of the books were read, Violet moved on to using Jason as a jungle gym.


practicing....

Peek-a-boo with the curtains, for about 20 minutes

Over the weekend Violet started crawling on her hands a knees. Each day she scoots on her belly less and races on all 4's more.

Again, we passed a weekend pretty quietly- but pretty wonderfully. I have come to appreciate our quiet weekends spent around our home. We may not travel far, but that doesn't mean that life is boring.

Really, what about this says "boring?" (To me it says, "trouble!")

Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip

2012-01-26T19:46:00.000-05:00

Is there much better than a good cookie?

I will answer for you--

No.

On the way home from work today I stopped by the grocery store to pick up some last minute supplies for pizza night. (The salad bar in the deli is a great place to prepped toppings for pizza and nachos when you don't feel like doing all of the hard work) After swinging through the deli and picking up some bananas I found myself in the baking aisle, browsing the chocolate chips. I thought about what I might make with these delicious little morsels and decided that I would go with good ol' chocolate chip cookies. Nope.... chocolate chip cookies with peanut butter. (peanut butter is the world's most perfect food, in my opinion)

I used the recipe from the back of the Nestle Toll House bag, but made a few changes:

2 1/2 c. flour
1 tsp salt
1tsp baking soda
~~1 c.~~ 1/2 c. butter + 1/2 c. peanut butter (I added the peanut butter because it is a "good fat" and I will use that to sell myself these little delights as "healthy")
~~3/4 c.~~ 1/2 c. brown sugar
~~3/4 c.~~ 1/2 c. white sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
splash of water
whole bag-o-chips!

* Bake cookies at 350 deg. for 8-10 minutes
* Devour!

I cut the sugar by 1/2 c. in all, just to see if it made a difference, I don't think it did. Great! If I can make some cookies with a little less sugar I think it is a good thing. (Would Martha agree? I hope so) I cut the butter in half and substituted 1/2 c. of all-natural peanut butter. I also added a splash of water because the dough was looking a little dry as I mixed it. I think the dryness can probably be attributed to the changes I made in the butter. A splash of water was all I needed to help the whole thing come together. Most of the time I only use half of the bag of chocolate chips when I make cookies, but tonight I dumped in the whole thing-- WHOA are they chocolatey and chippy!

On a local TV news show I had once heard the owner of Wicked Whoopies, a Maine bakery, suggest that when making chocolate chip cookies creaming the butter and sugar by hand would give amazing results. Her advice popped into my head tonight as I reached for my beloved Kitchen Aid mixer. I decided to grab a plain mixing bowl and my curved rubber spatula to mix up the dough.

The result?

That Wicked Whoopie lady has not only mastered the whoopie pie, she knows a thing or two about chocolate chip cookies! I will never again use a machine to mix cookie dough. I used a little more elbow grease to get all of the ingredients playing along nicely in the bowl, but the result was certainly worth it. For those of you who have tasted Jason's grandma's cookies, my batch tonight is dangerously close to tasting like "Ama's Cookies." (Not to worry Grandma, I have no plans of trying to taking the cookie title)

This week that started out less than wonderful (refer back to my "Monday" post) turned out to be pretty darn wonderful in the end. Jason and I found ourselves home from school at the same time on two, beautiful weather days this week, so we had two long "family walks" on the bike path. Tuesday's warm walk made me crave spring time- the dogs kicking mud up onto their bellies, light layers, Violet laughing in the stroller, fresh air in our lungs! Violet's adorable boots that were ~~lost~~ temporarily separated at day care were ~~found~~ reunited. Jason made another delicious Thursday night pizza, as he does every week, while Violet and I danced around the sun room to some old Motown hits. That little girl loves her some Jackson 5!

True, this has been a busy, student appointments every 15-minutes type of week at work and Violet's naps have still be less than awesome at day care. As I did on Monday night, I choose to see the wonderful in my week, not the terrible, and I see that life is as wonderful as a peanut butter chocolate chip cookie straight from the oven!

Today Was a Monday

2012-01-23T20:02:00.000-05:00

Today was definitely a Monday.

After today, I am definitely ready for a Friday.

Today was a workshop day at school, filled with exciting things like checking senior grades to see who is already in danger of not graduating and lunchtime chats about how little teacher make compared to other careers. Although some of my students will be pleasantly surprised with their semester grades as I was when I ran grade checks, today was not the most uplifting day at work.

Not to worry- I had a chiropractor appointment this afternoon, and that is always relaxing and rejuvenating. Not only was I going to get an adjustment, but I had a massage scheduled as well. This rainy Monday was going to end on a good note.

Or, maybe not.

I stopped home to let the dogs out before going to my appointment. What did I find as I came around the corner of the deck and into the sun room??? I found Phoebe in a pile of foam from the cushion of the second hand trundle bed we picked up over the weekend.

Awesome.

The dogs went outside and the foam went in the trash. This is not Phoebe's first encounter with couch stuffing. Hopefully, it will be her last but I'm not going to put any money on that. "No trouble!" I told myself, "I was going to make new covers for that couch anyway, so Phoebe has provided me with an incentive to get that done sooner!" I left the pups on the tiled floor with all of the furniture in the house barricaded. Off to the chiropractor and the massage... the day would still go out on a high note!

Fast forward to daycare pickup.... Violet only napped for 35 minutes today. Now, I have my theories about the poor napping at daycare but I really wish Violet could talk and tell me why she has been anti- sleep recently. Regardless of the short nap, Violet was happy and dozed off on the way home.

Inside the house I unbundled the layers of LL Bean jackets that Violet and I had on and we went to the basement to let the dogs outside again. (it was raining, so there would be no walk this afternoon) "Great!" I thought, "The dogs will play outside while I feed Violet dinner and then we'll have an early bed time."

Not so fast-
Someone (Phoebe) had gotten sick all over the living room floor. Someone (Phoebe) had left 7 piles of vomit and couch foam on the floor...

...I almost lost it.

Into the saucer went Violet with a cracker to keep her happy. Outside, again, went the dogs. I went to gather cleaning supplies. (and to send Jason a vent-text about my current situation)

Later, as Violet and I ate dinner together at the kitchen counter I was fuming about the couch, the puke, the bad nap- the Monday. I looked over at Violet, enjoying her pieces of leftover garlic knot, babbling along about her day with her friends at day care. I said to today, "Monday, we're not going out like this! Time for some fun!"

I filled up the tub, stripped down the baby, and rolled up my sleeves... it was tubby time! And it was the PERFECT way to end this Monday!

Silly Faces

"Hi!!!!!!"

Teething you think?

My favorites from tubby time tonight:

She had her both toys lined up on the edge of the tub...

...one, by one she knocked them into the water...

... each time yelling out, "Roar!!"

She gives kisses now- sloppy kisses, but the best kisses!

Thank you, Violet, for helping me end this Monday on a soapy, splashing, roaring high note! For you, each day is a good day no matter what happens. I'm going to work on viewing the world more like a 10 month old and less like a grownup. You 10 month olds have it all figured out!

Butternut Squash Lasagna with Chicken Sausage

2012-01-22T18:27:00.000-05:00

This was the perfect meal to end a bitterly cold January weekend. The sauce was creamy. The layers melted together perfectly. The spinach and squash made me think "health food" as I ate. Actually, with a white sauce made from low-fat evaporated milk, this lasagna isn't a fat bomb like you might expect a white sauce to be.

I found the recipe in Hannaford's Fresh magazine. They often have delicious recipes in this free magazine (free if you spend $25+, and who doesn't send that much on a grocery trip?) I am glad I chose this meal for a Sunday night as it was way too involved for a weeknight meal. It would be easy enough to make ahead of time and refrigerate until you were ready to bake.

A few changes I would make after my first try with this lasagna:

1. There were many steps that seemed unnecessary. After making the white sauce you are supposed to divide it into 3 smaller bowls and combine 2 portions with spinach or squash. I would leave the sauce as it is and pour it over the spinach and squash layers; dividing it up was a messy process that left me with more dishes to do.

2. I might try the apple chicken sausage next time with cheddar cheese, instead of the mild Italian chicken sausage and Swiss cheese. The Italian and Swiss was a delicious combination, but the thought of apple chicken sausage with butternut squash makes me drool.

3. I would add more garlic. You can never have too much garlic!

The lasagna baked up beautifully and cut just as nicely. Jason, a lasagna fanatic, enjoyed this meal. Violet was not as much of a fan, which I am attributing to a bad afternoon nap and a baby who was sleepy and just wanted to nurse tonight. Usually the kid eats anything that is within reach of her strong, fast fingers.

The frosting on this savory layer cake?

Jason made garlic knots!

Where did my husband who only could cook chicken, green pepper, and onion stir fry go? I think I recall him failing to boiling pasta correctly at one point in our relationship. Since Violet's arrival he has gone from the standby daddy meal of chicken fingers, mac and cheese, and a frozen vegetable to whipping up homemade wings, an apple cake with cream cheese icing, marinara sauce from scratch, and now garlic knots. Delicious, buttery, garlicky, garlic knots. Bravo, Jason! These little knots of dough made the meal! (and were the only thing Violet ate before starting her boob juice protest)

I will definitely make this lasagna again. And Jason doesn't know it, but he will be making those little knots of heaven again too.

Uncle Zack's Beard

2012-01-22T11:14:00.000-05:00

Around 5:30 this morning I stumbled into Violet's room, where our little early bird was calling out to start the day. The house felt cool, but that isn't unusual because we turn the heat down at night. Back into bed we went for the morning nursing; I hit the thermostat on my way by so the house would be warmer when we all rolled out of bed in 30 minutes.

I fed Violet, hoping she would go back to sleep for a little while after she nursed. No luck. Once her belly was full the blankets and Jason's sleeping face became her toys of choice. I kept waiting for the heat to turn on, it usually takes a few minutes. I thought to myself I did turn the heat up, right? Thinking maybe I was remembering a previous morning. I got out of bed and saw that the thermostat read 54 degrees. "We've got a problem!" I called to Jason, and I headed to the wood stove to start a fire. (That wood stove has been a godsend!) In my head I was running through what might be wrong with the furnace and how much it was going to cost to fix it. Another look at the thermostat (because maybe hitting the buttons again would make the heat come on) and I saw that the batteries were dead.

THANK YOU HEAT GODS! ( and bank account gods too!)
Two AAA batteries and we were on our way to being toasty warm!

So, what does this have to do with my brother and his beard?

Uncle Zack on a "relaxing vacation" trip up Mt. Washington

Well, our lack of warmth this morning got me to thinking about how things could be worse. When I'm stressing about money or house repairs I find it helpful to think about how fortunate we are. Example: We have a house with a wood stove, a fire place, and a closet full of wood for fuel. My brother, and his beard, spent the weekend hiking and camping on Mt. Washington-- home of the world's worst weather. He also spent last weekend hiking that magnificent beast in the Presidential Range of the White Mountains.

Why would someone choose to subject themselves to these sub-zero temperatures for a hike, let alone a cozy overnight in a sleeping bag and tent? Zack's most recent adventures up the snowy Mt. Washington have been for work; although, he has done this hike for "pleasure" too. He is an adventure guide for the Appalachian Mountain Club. This weekend he is leading a group of AMC guests on an adventure-- and adventure I am sure they will not soon forget! I am sure Zack's guests are wishing they had his winter beard this weekend!

Anyone who has heard me talk about Zack knows that I am tremendously proud of my little brother. He is a perfect model of finding the good that can come from any situation. He is optimistic, but rational and even keeled in his optimism. He is patient and kind in moments where I would probably loose my cool. He is adventurous and ambitious, proven through his chosen career path. Although modest Zachary would never tell you about his triumphs over hearing and speech delays as a kid, a broken and betrayed heart, and earning his bachelor's degree (summa cum laude) after earning an associates in video production- I will tell you that he is strong when facing an obstacle.

Zack does not always follow the path I would expect, but I am learning that he puts a tremendous amount of thought into any decision he makes. He is quiet, but his words and actions are backed up by much thought and wisdom. I am learning to take a page from Zack's book in this way.

Violet loves her Uncle Zack! He is silly and playful with her. I will make no guesses as to when or if Zack will have kids of his own--but if he does, he will be a great dad! There is a lot I have learned from my younger brother, more than I ever expected. My hope is that Violet will take on some of Zack's patient and adventurous traits and look up to him as she experiences the world.

I will be OK if she doesn't care to hike Mt. Washington in January.

We love you, Uncle Zack, and hope it was a safe, relatively warm weekend on the mountain!

I'll take my Saturday morning coffee with a little predictablilty, thank you.

2012-01-21T13:22:00.000-05:00

Oh Saturday morning, I have longed for you all week. I wish that we had the time for a leisurely family snuggle in bed every day of the week. (Yes Dad, if we woke up as early as you do we would have more "free time" even on school days, but that is too early- even for me!) I love our Saturday mornings, they are quite possibly my favorite thing about being a family.

Saturday morning means breakfast together at the kitchen counter, and then a migration to the living room where Jason starts the wood stove and the grownups sip coffee. The dogs start their pattern of wanting to be outside, then inside... no outside... never mind, inside. Violet plays, we watch some Today show. At some point Jason takes the dogs for a walk and if the weather cooperates, we ladies join him. Eventually we are all dressed and the day "begins"- grocery shopping and Target (always in that order, because I'm a little crazy like that) and then home for lunch and naps. Eventually Saturday morning becomes afternoon and then evening and I think, "I cannot wait for next Saturday morning."

I love Saturday morning because it is our predictable family routine. Jason would tell you that I love routines and predictability a little too much and that I don't love surprises enough. Perhaps he is right in some ways. I don't like knowing there is going to be a surprise for me and I don't like keeping surprises from him. In college I bought him Billy Joel tickets for his birthday and gave them to him 4 months ahead of time, because I couldn't stand to keep them a surprise. Predictability isn't all bad either. Our predictable Saturday mornings are a relaxing end to our busy weeks- school, meetings, day care, music lessons.

I like to think of Saturday mornings as a family time that we keep sacred. We are three humans and two dogs, enjoying the company of one another. Saturday mornings are the time when our family is reminded of what is important and special in life-- each other.

Saturday morning is now over, and Violet is resisting her nap (while Jason and the dogs sleep soundly). Until next week, Saturday morning.

Perfect 10

2012-01-19T19:34:00.000-05:00

Happy 10 months, my sweet little Violet!

How is it that we are already at the 10 month mark? Time seems to be flying by, but I feel like I have been your mommy forever. I have trouble remembering what it is like to not see your mischievous grin crawling down the hallway, tongue sticking out as you concentrate on maneuvering your little body across the floor. (Daddy calls this your "Mommy Face") But I can so vividly remember feeling your feet kick and your bum roll across my belly only 10 months ago.

Many people had told me month 9 was the most fun. I don't know that any one month has been better than another, but month 9 has been pretty wonderful. You make us laugh more and more every day. In the last month you have really started to show us who you are as a person.

You are becoming more mobile, pulling yourself up on anything that you can hang onto long enough to get up on your feet. You have been working on cruising along the couch and coffee table- sometimes your hands move, but not your feet, resulting in a side-bend and eventually a tumble. You are slowly getting to a point where a little tumble is funny and not scary. Every day you are more steady on your feet and surprising us with your strength.

In the last month you have started showing off your little personality. Oh, it is a funny one! You are learning to make faces and sounds that make us burst out in laughter. You have started to engage us in play. Any toy, wall, book, or blanket will serve as a place to hide your face for a game of peek-a-boo, currently your favorite game. You have a tiny chuckle, as if you understand the subtle humor in life. You have a deep belly laugh- I think it comes straight from your toes! Rarely do you cry, and when there are tears it is only for a moment. You are full of sunshine and smiles!

Your love for the dogs seems to grow stronger by the minute. You have learned that "No No" is what we say when they beg for food next to your high chair. You now say, "No, No!" and then hand them your crackers, looking at Daddy and me with a face that says I am innocent! (I think we are in trouble with you and your two partners in crime!) When we take the dogs for walks in the woods you have learned to help us call for them. You yell, "Dog! Dog!" and other random babblings. Gone are the days when you would fall asleep on our walks. I have a feeling the dog walks will only become more entertaining as you grow.

The last ten months have surely been the best 10 months of life for your Daddy and me. There is much more fun ahead, little one. I am loving seeing the little girl you are becoming- more amazing than I could have ever imagined!
I love you, my little love bunny!

Relaxing Nap Time

2012-01-16T14:23:00.001-05:00

When do we go from fighting sleep as children to craving sleep as adults?

How many times in a day do you encounter a person who says, "I would love to take a nap!" or, "I didn't sleep well last night and can't wait to go to bed tonight."? I figure I average at least two people a day who say this to me. (Most days it is probably more, but I will be conservative with my averaging since some days the only people I interact with are Jason and Violet.)

Now, think about parents of young children you know who say, "The baby didn't nap today," or, "He fought his morning nap for an hour!" I would say that I have had many conversations with other parents about nap time struggles. When I was pregnant and in Violet's first weeks I read up on sleep training, setting routines, and sticking to a nap schedule. I thought to myself, "What is the deal with napping?" Little did I know, Violet would teach us a thing or two about napping.

Violet is a good sleeper. Sometimes she wakes up a little earlier than even I would like on weekend mornings, but overall she sleeps like a champ. By three months old I could put her down at night and she would fall asleep on her own. She has been sleeping for 10+ hours each night since September. She gave up night time nursing on her own, so struggles at all. Night time sleeping is wonderful! Nap time sleeping has been a little more of a challenge.

In the last month or more Violet has been taking what we like to call "nippy naps" because they're short, maybe 30 minutes at best. Or, she would take a marathon morning nap, fight her afternoon nap, and then be asleep before 5:30pm. (meaning she would wake up early too, no fun) We strategized with her day care provider the best way to get her to nap and be well rested throughout the day, because an overtired baby doesn't sleep well until they are well rested and no longer an overtired baby. We came to the solution of a morning "nippy nap" and a long afternoon nap. Hooray! We fixed the napping problem.

Or not.
Within a couple of weeks our "plan" was no longer working.

In a frustrated email to my mom, written while I listened to Violet fight her nap over the baby monitor, I wrote "I'm done worrying about naps!" And then I thought to myself Why are you putting so much energy into worrying about naps?! I remembered back to when Violet was less than a month old and I worried about her crying or getting hungry while we were out of the house. Having a newborn became a lot easier when I chilled out and went with the flow. If she cries, comfort her- it can be done anywhere. If she is hungry, feed her- I got past my fear of what people would say if I nursed her in public. This is how I feed my baby, not some x-rated film I'm showing. Why did I not have the same attitude about napping? Maybe it was that the reading I had done about napping had made me over-think naps? Or maybe it was listening to the crying while Violet learned how to get herself to sleep? Whatever the issues were, I realized they were my issues around naps, not Violet's.

In the weeks since I started letting go of my napping worries there has been a lot more sleeping going on in our house. If I want Violet to relax and go to sleep, I need to relax and just let her go to sleep. There are no tricks. In fact, "tricks" seem to make the nap time shorter or nonexistent. A snuggle, a calmly read book, and a kiss as I lay her down. She still cries sometimes when it is nap time, but only for a moment before she rolls over and is fast asleep.

I am sure that our current nap routine will need adjustments as time goes on. Violet is in the process of moving from two naps to one nap a day. As we make this change in nap patterns I will just follow her lead and I will relax.

(Violet is currently 1.5 hours into an excellent afternoon nap!)

Phoebe on the tundra!

2012-01-15T20:00:00.000-05:00

Phoebe is training for the Iditarod!

Just kidding.

But in all honesty, Phoebe would probably love running a race in those conditions. The negative temperatures today have been perfect for her. Please neighbors, don't think we're bad for letting Phoebe play outside in this cold. She is in dog heaven!

About two years ago we adopted a new puppy from the Animal Welfare Society in West Kennebunk. She was called a "lab mix" which we thought would be a wonderful match for our sweet, loyal, water loving lab, Marley. Phoebe became a part of our family (making our parents think it would be a while before we had any human children... one month later we found out we were expecting Miss Violet!) As each day passed with our new "lab mix" puppy we found her to be less and less like our laid back Marley. Phoebe is sweet and loving, but that is where the similarities end. The question, "What kind of dog is she?" was something we heard wherever we took Phoebe. And so, the search for Phoebe's true breed began.

Phoebe howls and has one eye that is 1/2 blue. She is a hunter and has proudly presented us with several dead rodents from the back yard. Phoebe is a runner! Oh my, is she a runner! Marley can hardly keep up with her short, slow legs. Phoebe is affectionate and loyal, but not like our lab who will never leave our side. After some research, we found the breed of "Alaskan Husky," a Siberian Husky cross bred for racing. Ah ha! This has to be Phoebe! While not an official breed, and not recognized by the AKC, Alaskan Husky seems to be a breed of dog along the lines of a "Golden Doodle."

Phoebe is an adventurer. The combination of hunter+runner+ adventurer has led to many incidents where we have been chasing Phoebe through the woods. Eventually, she will return to us, but always in her own time. A chipmunk or a scent in the woods held her attention so well that it didn't seem that she could hear us or see us as we called her name and ran behind her. For a while we thought that Phoebe was destined to be a dog always on a leash. We just couldn't risk her getting hurt and didn't feel she could be trusted to come back. This past summer was challenging for us with Phoebe. We wanted her to be able to run- she has a look of euphoria when she runs- but we did not want her to be hurt or lost. (Oh, and we had an infant too... that was a little challenging) Everything we read about huskies and similar breeds told us that they were dogs who love to run. We figured it was her genetics, and we figured genetics would be difficult to overcome. We started going for more walks and only letting Phoebe off leash in fenced-in places. It wasn't perfect, but she was safe and we were making it work.

While walking a beach with their lab this fall, my parents met some women walking their huskies--- off leash! The women explained that they had issues similar to ours with Phoebe when they first had their dogs. Nothing seemed to work to get the dogs to come back. Like Phoebe, their dogs could care less about food, and that was our best trick when we were training Marley. They took their dogs to a special trainer and now they have no troubles with their dogs sticking around (as my father was telling me this story and got to this part I thought, Great! How much will that cost?) The secret? Liver.

Seriously?! Could it be that easy?! Yep, it is.

Well, it isn't just the liver... there has been some training involved too, but the liver treats are the glue that holds the training together. For the last month we have been allowing Phoebe off leash when we walk her with Marley on the trails near our home. She runs! She tracks! She comes back for the liver!

Much thanks to my father who bought us a reserve of liver treats. (Of everyone, he loves to watch Phoebe run the most) Phoebe and Marley both love them.

We adopted Phoebe, thinking we were getting another dog like Marley- loyal, sweet, hungry all the time. Instead, we adopted a slim, speedy, inquisitive puppy. I admit, there was a time when I wondered how we were going to fit Phoebe into our family's lifestyle. Once we realized that Phoebe is less lab than any other breed and that relating to her as we do Marley was not going to work, things started to fall into place. Phoebe is loving, gentle, and full of spirit.

We will not be entering any dog races, especially the Iditarod, but we will be letting Phoebe run in the snow!

(Phoebe is an early riser too! Howling next to the bed before the sun is even up!)

Snow Day!

2012-01-12T13:36:00.000-05:00

I don't believe today is Violet's first snow day, I seem to remember a school cancellation while I was on maternity leave last spring. However, I am going to call today the first "real" snow day for Violet. No school for Mommy and Daddy, so we get to play all day! Violet's day care provider suggested that we may want to bring her to day care today anyway, since day care is open on snow days and we might want a day to ourselves. I politely said, "I think we'll all stay home if there is no school," but what I wanted to say is, "Give up a day at home with this hilarious love bug?! No way!" I have never understood why parents are glad to have time away from their kids- my own parents were not that way. Thankfully Jason agrees with me and grew up in a family where everyone enjoyed spending time together.... including snow days!

Jason and I have decided that snow days are much more fun when there are little kids to play with. After lunch we spent our pre-nap hour playing in the snow. We have 2 sleds- an infant sled and a regular, "big kid" sled-Violet loves them both! Her face lights up as we coast down the hill in our back yard, dogs chasing us (and each other) from behind. I am SO glad we own property with a small sloping lawn- it will be perfect for sledding with friends as Violet gets older.

Our first family snow day has been bringing back memories of snowy days off from school when I was a kid. I can remember my brother and I waking up early, waiting for the phone call from the school where my dad was a teacher. The excitement only intensified when the phone finally rang and my dad would shout out, "SNOW DAY!" He was usually dancing his distinctive, goofy dance too. Snow days usually meant breakfast out at the diner in town, or maybe homemade pancakes.

When Jason's phone rang around 5am today, Violet woke up laughing (she was in our bed following an usually fussy night). As Violet climbed on top of the pillows, yelling "Dog! Dog! Dog! Dada! Dada!" we were reminded there would be no more sleeping in on snow days. Now, the 5am phone call from school is not a signal to clumsily shut off the alarm and roll over. That 5am phone call is now the bell that starts the snow day party! (but hopefully only a few times a year, because longer summer vacations are fun too!)

In other news:
I think Violet is transitioning to being a one-nap baby. A 20 minute snooze this morning and a great afternoon nap today. Where has time gone?!

Banana bread (even more wholesome than Mom's!)

2012-01-07T19:31:00.000-05:00

This afternoon I spotted some bananas in the freezer that I had saved for a bread. In the summer, when it is too warm to bake and the heat ripens the bananas faster than we can eat them, I will take 3-4 bananas and freeze them in a bag. The next time I find myself craving some warm banana bread I don't have to wait for the green fruit on my counter to ripen. Spotting the frozen fruit today, I decided some baking was in the plans for the Paquette house.

My mom has a banana bread recipe that tastes more like a banana cake. We'll call it "bread" just to make ourselves feel a little healthier. Her recipe comes from the cook book, "Just a Matter of Thyme Among Friends". There is not one recipe in this book that is not delicious. I have copied MANY recipes from this book and use them often (the brownies are an all time favorite!) The banana bread recipe is usually the only one I use now, because it is just SO good. Today I decided to make some small changes. I had recently read a banana bread recipe in which you use only brown sugar, no white. I have found that when using brown sugar you can use less than the refined, white stuff because the flavor is stronger and the brown sugar is moist. I had also found a banana bread recipe that called for oatmeal to make the bread a little heartier. I decided to take both of these ideas and try them in my old standby recipe. I also changed the eggs from 2 to 1, just to see if it made a difference. The results were delicious!

Banana Bread:

2 cups flour
1 tbsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
1 cup oatmeal
1/ 2 cup butter
2/3 cup brown sugar (unpacked)
1 egg
3-4 large bananas, mashed

Combine dry ingredients, set aside. Cream butter and sugar. Add egg and bananas to butter mixture and blend until cell combined. Slowly add flour mixture until moistened, being careful to not over mix. Bake at 350 F for 50-55 minutes.

The oatmeal makes the bread a little chewier, and the brown sugar added some wonderful flavor. I see no reason to add 2 eggs, 1 was fine and I didn't miss the second. Jason loved the bread. Violet loved the bread. I'm sure the dogs would love it too if we allowed them to eat it. YUM!

Baby's Best Friend

2012-01-06T19:43:00.000-05:00

Doggies!

Not, "Mommy," or "Daddy," or even "more!"

Congratulations, Marley and Phoebe, Violet's first official word is "doggies!"

Of course, she says, "mamamama" and "dadadada," but sometimes it is difficult to tell of she is calling for Jason and me or if it is just babble. She uses our names for everything. But when she looks at Marley and Phoebe and says, "doggies!" There is no denying, that's her first real word.

When I was pregnant we used to joke that Violet's first words would be, "Marley and Phoebe, come!" It seems that we're always calling the dogs in from outside, calling them to stop jumping on house guests, or calling them away from the high chair when Violet is eating (and intentionally feeding them). Although we joked, I don't know that either Jason or I ever thought that Violet's first word would be related to the dogs.

Now that "doggies" is her new vocabulary word, I must say I'm not surprised. Violet's eyes light up when she sees the dogs. Her newest greeting for our canine "kids" is a high squeal with waving arms and kicking legs. Marley, who is usually like a bull in a china shop, is gentle and careful around Violet. Phoebe, who runs everywhere she goes, slows down and likes to snuggle when Violet is around. The dogs' instinct to nurture the young is certainly coming through and Violet's instinct to play with her furry sisters is as strong as ever.

Are we disappointed that a clear, "Mommy" or "Daddy" was not Violet's first word?

No way!

Our three girls- Marley, Phoebe, and Violet- are becoming the best of friends!

In the middle of the night

2012-01-05T14:01:00.000-05:00

Last night we experienced our first projectile vomit, in the dark, wake the whole house up incident.

Awesome.

Just before midnight Violet woke up crying. Not that fussy, "I just need to get myself back to sleep" cry. This cry was a little louder and included a few "Mama... mama...mama"s. Usually I'm pretty strong when it comes to comforting Violet and letting her get back to sleep on her own in the middle of the night, but when she's crying and she says, "Mama," I have no strength. None. I am mush.

So, into her room I went (followed by Phoebe, who is always hoping that it is early enough to be awake for the day and let outside to play). Usually when I pick Violet up from her crib she stops crying and giggles at me. Not last night. Nursing is my secret weapon against tears. "When in doubt, whip it out!" So that is what I did. She calmed down, nursed and then sat up. She let out a few small whimpers and then..... projected her dinner and the milk she had just sucked down all over me. I was covered. She was covered. I will spare you more details, because we all know what is involved in throwing up.

An hour later, everything was cleaned up (thanks to Jason who I woke from a cozy bed with my yelling his name, only for him to find Violet and me in a pool of grossness). I had showered, because I was that covered. Violet was changed and back to sleep with a smile on her face. We stayed home today, Violet and I, but it seems that whatever was the matter last night has passed and she is her smiling self today. Thank goodness.

As I lay in bed last night replaying the incident I was pretty proud of my ability to not freak out. Two things I'm most proud of:
#1 Someone throwing up on you is gross. If you had asked me beforehand I would have told you what happened last night would have made me sick too and I would now have just sat there and taken it. In the moment I thought, "Violet needs me, there is no other choice." Get up and not only are our pajamas dirty, but the carpet too. I remembered being sick at night when I was a kid and how good it felt to have my mom with me, rubbing my back and telling me she loved me.
#2 Jason and I made a pretty decent puke-cleaning team. I think we make a good team all of the time, but these stressful middle of the night incidents really put us to the test. Violet (and her bodily functions) has brought us together in more ways than I think we expected her too. The hour between 12 and 1am was not about puke or losing sleep, it was about our baby and working together to make her well.

So, good work Jason! And Violet, Mommy is SO glad you're not sick anymore and that we got to spend a day playing and laughing together. I love you both :-)

Unplugged

2012-01-03T20:36:00.000-05:00

In in the summer of 2007 Jason and I lived in a tiny apartment together. I was in graduate school and waitressed at a local restaurant. Jason worked on the dock at a nearby summer resort (think: the resort from Dirty Dancing, but on the Maine coast). I was a student and he was a first-year teacher. We were broke. I can remember joking that the only room in the apartment was the bathroom, because the rest of the unit was an open space with no doors. That summer we had no cable TV, only rabbit ears that seldom picked up more than a fuzzy channel 13 in hues of magenta. We did have the Internet, but as I recall sites such as FaceBook were not as popular in 2007 and, consequently, did not suck up as much of our time. So what did we do that summer when we were not working- coming home greasy, sweaty, and with pockets full of tip money? We read. Jason, who previously told me he "hated reading," completed the final Harry Potter book in one day! I read more that summer than I have read in a summer before or since then. It was wonderful and enriching. We also saved a lot of money on not paying a cable bill. If that summer didn't make us a little smarter, it at least made us feel a little smarter.

Fast forward to the last 9 months and I am now thinking about TV viewing in our house, as well as other electronics use. What will our rules be for Violet? The world of technology is changing so quickly that I think it would be silly of us to form rules now; anything that exists today will have changed dramatically by the time Violet is reaching her teen years. (she's also only 9 months old and can't ask for a cell phone yet, so again a rule would be silly)

Over the Christmas vacation, while spending an afternoon with Jason's family I looked around the room and found that of the five adults, four of us had "screens" in front of our faces. There was an iPad, a TV, and iPhone, and another "non" smart phone. What wonderful family time we were having- all of us with our faces glued to a screen and our thumbs to a keyboard! Earlier in the month, at another family function, an aunt commented that her children have a set amount of time that they can use their electronic games every day. "Bravo!" I thought to myself. Another parent in the room seemed confused, asking what the kids did when they used up their game time. Play outside.... use their imagination...read a book...do homework...practice an instrument...have a conversation.... be kids.

As I was getting through my least favorite part of the day (pumping, the only thing I dislike about breastfeeding Violet) I came across a story on the Today Show's website. Do you crave the ability to unplug? "YES!" I thought to myself. I laughed to myself too because I work in a high school, where students often have unhealthy attachments to their cell phones. Looking at their poll, it appears that many other people would like to unplug too. One of the guests commented that kids are too connected---I agree. I also think that being plugged into some electronic device makes a person "log out" of their real life. How easy is it to zone out your spouse while typing a text or burning precious time on Facebook? Pretty darn easy, and I know because I have done it at least once this week.

We only have one TV in our house, and the hope is to keep it that way. Two summers ago we invested in a new home computer and decided to get a desktop to help us cut back on the time we spent in front of the TV, each with laptops open on the couch. The dogs are pretty good at getting us to unplug as well. If nothing else, they need to be walked at least twice a day but they also tend to bark and whine more when the "white things" (our MacBooks from school) come out. I don't have any answers or solid plans about how we will bring Violet up in a technology filled world. I do know that I want her to have a pure and wholesome childhood, the kind I feel my parents gave me. I also know that we are surrounded by technology, and not all of it bad. If it wasn't for technology we would not be able to video chat with Jason's parents in South Korea, my brother would not have been able to call for help when he was injured on the side of a mountain during a winter hike, and I wouldn't have images from my first ultrasound when I was pregnant. We will strive for balance, and like in every other parenting obstacle we encounter we will do our best.

Early Riser

2012-01-02T14:12:00.000-05:00

Last March I my husband and I welcomed our beautiful little girl, Violet, to the world. In the days leading up to her birth I paced in the kitchen, trying to speed up my contractions. Jason paced beside me, trying to decide when he should drive me to the hospital. There was one thought running through my mind: "We don't know how to be parents!" I'm nothing if I'm not prepared (it is a blessing and a curse at times), but as Violet's due date drew closer I realized that the perfectly folded baby clothes, pre-washed cloth diapers, and baby swing did not mean that we were prepared to be parents. I knew how to hold a baby, feed a baby, dress and bathe a baby; I grew up in a home where my mother ran a home day care. I have often heard my mom tell other parents, "there is more than one right way to raise a child." Last March I thought to myself, "Yes, but I will raise my child the right right way."

Soon, Jason was driving me to the hospital for the third time in as many days and my focus shifted from not being perfectly prepared, to the hypnobirthing techniques I had practiced over previous months. I don't recall thinking much more about how to be a parent until I was finally home alone with Violet (and Marley and Phoebe- those sweet, curious pups!) Jason returned to work, and there we were- two humans and two canines for the next 7 weeks on my maternity leave. Over those seven weeks I learned that I do not enjoy daytime TV, I had a baby who loved to cluster feed, Jason can cook a pretty decent meal without me over his shoulder, and I'm pretty good at doing most anything with one hand. I also discovered a wealth of information, funny parenting stories, and connections to other mothers online. I remember thinking that a blog would be a great way to chronicle Violet's life and share it with our family and friends; I also remember thinking that it was a good day if I was able to take a shower and put on something other than sweatpants. So here I am now, 9 1/2 months later finally starting my blog and also admitting to myself that there is not a right right way to raise a child.

I have always been an early riser, it is in my blood. I come from a family of morning people- those people who are always cheerful before the sun even peeks into the sky. I suppose you can say that my family's unofficial motto has always been, "early to bed, early to rise!" Sweet Jason has reluctantly become a morning person too (although I think he is starting to enjoy seeing how much he can get done before 9am!) With two dogs and a baby who like to rise with the sun, he was bound to pick up our sleep patterns sooner or later. The rest of the Benjamin Franklin quote goes, "... makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise." As I thought about what to name this blog and what I might write about this quote kept coming to mind. "Ugh, how cliche," was my first thought about focusing my blog around such a well known quote. The more I thought about it, the more I warmed to the idea. This is how I live and what I strive for each day. I work toward physical and mental well-being every day. I am rich with love and opportunities in my life. I try to gain wisdom from my experiences.

I cannot promise that my posts will always have depth. I cannot promise that I will post every day. If the only people who read this are my parents and husband, I am okay with that. I like to write and I like to share. So Mom, Dad, and Jason: I'm glad you love me and love to read!